


need a little sweetness in my life

by QueenWithABeeThrone



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coffee, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 19:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17106542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenWithABeeThrone/pseuds/QueenWithABeeThrone
Summary: “It doesn’t have to be torture, Caleb, come on,” Molly says.“It is not torture, you and Jester just cannot fathom actual coffee,” says Caleb.or: an argument and a bet ensues over coffee. that’s it. that’s literally it.





	need a little sweetness in my life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cecilantro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilantro/gifts).



> title is from Maroon 5’s “Sugar”.
> 
> merry Christmas, Luke!

The day after Molly pulls Caleb down into a kiss, he stumbles out of the bedroom to find his beloved if distinctly not flexible wizard in the kitchen, jabbing the buttons to Molly’s fancy coffeemaker with a vengeance.

“What’s my coffeemaker ever done to you?” Molly asks, cheerfully. At least he tries to, anyway, but it’s 8:30 AM, he hasn’t had an ounce of coffee yet. Instead, his question comes out a flat, thickly-accented slur of words, but Caleb does stop in his furious attacks on Molly’s poor, innocent, _expensive_ coffeemaker, so he will count that as a win.

“How do you _make it go_?” Caleb asks. “It does not—I tried to cast Comprehend Languages on the screen but it still doesn’t make a single iota of sense! What is _wrong_ with it?”

“Did you ask it nicely?” Molly asks. “Like Caduceus does with literally everything. If you haven’t, there’s your problem.” He waves a hand at Caleb, trying to shoo him away from the coffeemaker and the mugs on the nearby rack.

“It is not magical,” says Caleb, moving out of the way anyway. “I would’ve known if it was.”

“It might not be magical, but I’m pretty sure it might’ve gained sentience,” says Molly, patting the coffeemaker on the very top of its water container. His tail catches on the handle of one of his cupboards, and pulls it open. “Sugar’s in there, if you want some.”

“I, ah, don’t take sugar,” says Caleb.

“How are you _alive_ ,” says Molly, grabbing a pot, shoving under the metal drip and pressing buttons on the coffeemaker. He grabs his favorite mug, a gag gift from Beau that reads _PT Barnum was a dick_ , then ducks down to grab a jar of sugar from the cupboard. Then he pauses and glances back at Caleb. “You can take sugar, right?”

“Oh, _ja_ , I could,” says Caleb. “I just don’t tend to add it to my coffee. I do not drink to enjoy it, I drink it to wake myself up.”

Oh, right, people _do_ that. Yasha had done that, until Molly had worn her down by drinking as many expensive and sugary drinks in front of her as he could. “It doesn’t have to be torture, Caleb, come on,” he says to Caleb now.

“It is not torture, you and Jester just cannot fathom actual coffee,” says Caleb, with the same flat, conversational tone he uses when he thinks that something is going to be very funny to provoke, “not coffee-flavored syrup.”

Molly goes still. “Really,” he says. He shouldn’t be doing this. Caleb is watching him with a small smile, like he thinks Molly is going to take him up on the challenge. Well, he _won’t_ , they’re out of the bedroom now and Molly will not let Caleb push him into black coffee, he’s willing to try anything but there are _lines_ —

“I mean,” says Caleb, “have you ever even tasted a real cup in your life?”

Motherfucker.

“I don’t know, have you?” Molly asks. “Because it’s just not coffee without about three spoons of sugar in it.” He’s not Jester, he’s reasonable about dumping sugar in coffee. Most of the time.

“Three is three too much,” says Caleb.

“Have you ever even tried it?” Molly asks. He grins when Caleb hesitates, biting his lip, and adds, “If you try it my way, I’ll try it yours.”

“That is a tempting offer,” Caleb says, after a moment spent in deep, deep thought. “But the incentive is a bit lacking—”

“First person to spit their coffee loses the right to pick where we’re going for the next three dates,” says Molly, before he can stop himself. Oh, well. What’s life without a little bit of risk, right? Take a chance, roll the dice, all that jazz.

“Oh, now you’re on,” says Caleb. “You are going to love _Citizen Kane_ , it’s being screened with many other classics in the park next week.”

Molly’s seen that movie before. It had been a long, boring, _shitty_ movie, and this is coming from someone who’d picked up film as a major. Groundbreaking, technically speaking, but just tedious as fuck. “Not as much as I’m sure you’re going to love _Tusk Love 3_ ,” he says, and grins when he sees the look of pure horror on Caleb’s face.

It’s _on._


End file.
